Letter to My Little One–43

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Take the World as it is…

February 05, 2007

Dear Little One,

I wonder how could you, a student of literature, not understand the on-going debate, since time immemorial, between the “world as it is” and the “world as it should be”. There is a basic difference between the view point of an idealist and a realist. I find your approach to be of the Idealist one. You want to see and have around you a world as it “should be” and not as “it is”. And this brings you to many  unhappy situations.

There is nothing wrong in the way you have been brought up as we have made you learn things by our personal examples and this is the reason why it becomes still harder you to accept the world as it is—cruel, unsympathetic and uncaring. But my dear Little one, why do you forget another lesson that you should have learnt? Accept other as they are and don’t ever try to change them or expect that they would be made in the mould that suits you best. You have control over your action but not over others’ so why to fret and fume about it? Though, honestly speaking, it does hurt a lot when someone doesn’t turn out to be the way you perceive him to be. But then there must be something wrong with your perception. You may have judged the person based on your pre-conceived notions, based on your past references.

And you talk of changing your beliefs! You beliefs are based on the recurrence of references. There is no need to change your beliefs and you cannot change your beliefs the way you change a dress because beliefs are what really make us– the real we—devoid of all masks. If you will have a number of references that would substantiate your beliefs to be the wrong ones, they would change on their own. No worries about it. Another point that I would like to make is that if you would be disturbed by such trifles then it would be difficult for you.

We all wear masks all the time and for different situations we have different masks. Remember the “Masquerade” a dance form described in Tom Jones! So these are the masked appearances that people have and why others, we too have them at most of the time. How many times are we honest to our own self? Not many a times. Our self-image, too, is based on our perceptions and perceptions are not always true.Whatever you say, do or are; people judge on the basis of consistency and persistence and that makes your persona. The same rule applies to others. You must analyze th persona of an individual and for that see for consistency and persistence in what he says, does or acts. But as I have said earlier it is difficult to change others so start with your own self.Decide what you want to be—it is not like to be a person in a  position of power but what you want people to remember you for. Is it not ironic that sometimes the people in power don’t have a positive persona to go along with their position. How sad it seems. Your persona is more important than your position. It is a kind of statement that just the mention of your name brings to their mind. We always put people in different categories and it is based on what they are—sincere, trustworthy, hardworking, and amiable and so on and on. You have to have some traits that speak for you—your actions are those traits. Once your persona is built then your gait, your smile your speech gives entire picture about the kind of person you are. But you have to build it step-by-step being consistent and persistent in all the traits that would best describe you. A tagline, maybe that makes others to remember you. This tagline speaks for what you are. An idea. Remember making your persona is more important than anything else.When you wrote about changing your beliefs that you question in the present, made me worried. This is not the kind of persona that you have. Your tagline is being sincere, hardworking, respectful, courteous and dedicated. Be consistent so that others around you recognize you, not deliberately but unconsciously, on the basis of the qualities that make you. What others do is their problem so why to spoil your mood on the basis of such irrelevant things?

Think hard.

Love

Ma 

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