Double Talk and Double Standards

Double talk, if I remember correctly, is the term that George Orwell coined in one of his books to give respectability to the most often used practice in communication. We might as well call them—perspectives or perceptions! Why are we so stubborn at times that we don’t see others’ perspective or does it mean that we a re adamant to budge even a little from the stance that we take and in the process become focused on only the angle that suits our thought process. Now what is responsible for developing a thought process—is it not once again our perspective? So interesting really! We come back to the square one all the time when we try reaching a new point.

So what should we do during arguments—try seeing the others’ perspective or be happy with convincing the other to see ours? The debate can go on and on as none would move even a centimeter to accommodate the other. The most tragic part is when this rigidity in stance comes from people who otherwise are quite rational or perhaps pretend to be rational! Another perception!!!

Would not the world be a better place, with less number of differences of opinions? And what about the double standards? I think that they, too, have their origin in difference in perspectives. When we set different set of rules for our ownselves and a different set of rules for others, we have to have double standards to maintain them. The situation is real dicey—we have different perspectives so the others seem to us like indulging in double talks and then double standards are maintained to uphold our own perceptions that are the only reality that we are capable of seeing!

But who would take the initiative to set things right?

And Why should I? It is my world and I see it with a coloured glass and that, too, from an angle that suits me the best. So why should I change my perspective? Let the world go to dogs for all that I care for, so far as I sit comfortable in my own small world– cozy and secure—walled by my own  perceptions!

And where is the TRUTH then?

One thought on “Double Talk and Double Standards

  1. Vividhaditya

    “Would not the world be a better place, with less number of differences of opinions?” I think I differ here. These conflicts and differences are a design of the evolution process. A few weeks ago, late in the evening, I was sitting along with Prof Vepa Rao, a journalism teacher in Himachal Bhawan. I was pessimistic stating that, with the way we are meddling with the environment, I just give 40 to 50 years for the world to come to an end. With all global warming and all — floods and all.

    Sir said, probably “earlier”. Then he thought for a while and said, “On second thoughts, may be the world will survive. After all conflict is all a part and process of evolution. Thousands of years ago too the man may not have given the world a chance more than a few hundred years. Why look outside for this conflict. There’s conflict within ourselves as well. And if we can resist this conflict, we can be immortal. There are millions of cells dying every moment and thee are being replaced by other millions, which are not exactly the same, which they have replaced. They are different. Hence this ageing and dying. If we can stop this conflict, we can be immortal. But then that’s the evolution process. Man was an amoeba, a monkey with a tail and we have reached today because of this evolution. When we hear about that “pralay” in history and only one man was saved probably, the same thing would happen again. Man may adapt to the environment around him. Or just a few tough would survive, the earth would go back cold and then the warming process starts again.”

    That certainly put me in a thinking mode… probably that’s why in a society it’s very necessary to have a dialogue. I’m best at what I am but then I may not be right always. The other person may be. And when two people think that they both are right in their own and the other person is wrong, we fight and one wins. That winner may be the right closer to truth or may be not, but then if he’s not right closer to the truth he’ll again have a conflict with somebody who’ll be right closer to truth… and the process goes on and we evolve, changing our mindsets with time, experiences. And if we don’t have this conflict we won’t evolve.

    And we haven’t ignored Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest altogether.

    But what’s TRUTH is altogether a different question? We may not be seeing the truth at all, but what we percieve becomes truth to us. For example, a small and trivial… I hate brinjals, so what’s the truth here… “Brinjals are bad”. My wife loves brinjal, especially, “Baingan ka bharta… so what’s the truth… “Ummm, brinjals are really good.” Well we both exist with our own perceptions of truth. But there can be another perception as well, of a person who hasn’t tasted brinjals. Or may be has and likes the taste too but doesn’t suits his health. So his/ her truth may be totally different from the two of ours. Also, sometimes truth may be what has been told to me. I’m delving into a more complicated hypothesis. Let’s presume for a while… a colour. Let me take red. But what is red? They have the molecules and rays and whatever. We don’t argue over that. There are three people – A, B and C (we can take n number of people but not to complicate things let’s take just the three of them.) Or let me take me, my father and my sister. I start seeing a colour, and my dad tells me that is red… and that is green. What if I saw the colour as my frather’s green. But I don’t know the difference, so my father’s green becomes red for me. But it’s the word – red that’s been told to me by my father. So I agree that it’s red though I see it as my father see’s green. Now then comes my sister, she might see my red as my father’s yellow. But father tells her it’s red. The common link is the not the colour, but the word – red. We agree with that, though we all have been seeing it differently. So she agrees it’s red. Actually, we all are seeing three different colours but we call it red. And we pass it on so. The confusion comes up because we are seeing from our perspective. We aren’t seeing from each other’s eyes. Suppose tomorrow my father get’s to see through my eyes, he’ll all of a sudden start calling the colur green as red, because that’s how I’d been seeing it and all around will be puzzled. And the world goes on peacefully without dispute of the red or green because at the outset I’ve been told that it’s red.

    Well the colour was just an example, and this is the way we live our lives. We’ve been tod this is the truth and we accept it.

    So what’s the truth here? Or is there any truth at all? Everything around us may be a mirage. Kahte hain ki yeh duniya Brahma ka bhramm hai. We are his dream. The day he awakes and his dream breaks, the world will come to an end.

    Let me take another hypothesis… A few years back, I noticed this phenomena. As the evening set in, I used to be on my scooter travelling kiolmetres, and with these headlight beaming into my eyes, I would probably get hypnotised or I really don’t know what word to use here. I would go into a dream world. I would be in a totally different world, may be dancing, arguing, fighting, happy, sad, or anything else. Now after may be ten minutes I’d come back to sense. Meanwhile, I’ve travelled about 10 kilometres as well, of which I don’t remember anything. In this period, I’ve overtaken vehicles, other vehicles have overtaken me, I have stopped at a red light and I’ve followed the signal and have above all taken the right path. But I don’t remember anything of that. What I remember is of the other world.

    So what’s the truth here? The world I saw or the world I physically travelled through? I’ve lived that world too, while I’ve lived through those 10 kilometres as well.

    Here I might have been in a hurry and trying to reach a hospital, so I’m speeding up. My truth is I’m getting late to the hospital, where I’ve to save a life. That’s my truth. But a man on the road, see’s me speeding. He feels, “Aaj kal ke ladke… ma baap ki maante nahin aur fukre bane rahe hain. Ab dekhlo koi parwah hi nahin hai – na apni zindagi ki na doosron ki.”

    That’s his truth. My truth was that I wanted to save a life, however his truth was I didn’t care about any life. So truth probably is how we percieve things. Ultimately, I believe that this whole world is a mirage.

    There is another thoery of mine of life being a time pass. I know many would call it a pessimistic view till I explain it. I believe the reality is death. Everything we do in between is a big time pass waiting for that ultimate – the death. And once we die, it may matter to the one’s left behind, but how does it matter to the one who’s died. I breathe, I set goals – short term, long term to pass away time, becasue I can’t just sit here. I have to do soemthing. This evolution process makes me do things. Try just strangulating yourself just for a few seconds. You’ll release your throat within seconds. So what does one do. Wait, subconsciuosly, unconsciously. Though our ultimate goal is death, but we do not want to accept that. Instead we set other goals. I have to educate myself. Paass 10th. pass 12th. Graduate. get a job, get married, have children, get promoted, Build a house. Then retire.

    Then what all of a sudden when this word retiure comes, probably we are jolted to the truth, you are dawned with reality that now you want to pass away the rest of your life in peace and in God’s service. Now you want to pass away. But you still won’t accept that you had been passing time, meanwhile. Evolution becomes an excuse. Everything one does in the process becomes a way to pass away time to reach that goal. It’s like that. I go to a movie. and the movie starts at 4 pm. but I reach at the theatre at 3 pm only. Now I have to pass that one hour as well. So what do I do? Chalo sandwhich khayein… chalo paas mein sale lagi hai… dekh kar aayein… chal baith jaate hain… Bore ho rahe hain. And you want to pass away that time. So everything we do in life again is big big pass time to wait for that reality to take over us. And everything we do would not matter to me once I die. It becomes an excuse in the name of evolution. Yes, evolution. But then what’s the real purpose of evolution as well? Where is it headed to? may be I’ll never know, or may be I’ll know. someday. Meanwhile let me find another way to pass away my time. Go and read some other blog or write down something to pass away time.

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