Letters to my daughter 3

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05-07-2006

Dear Daughter,

I was back with you and you seemed happy indeed to have all the undivided attention that I was giving you at this point of time. My exams were over and I was waiting for the arrival of a new sibling for you. You didn’t know that very soon all this attention, that you were basking in, would shift from you to another one. Is it not true that our affections also keep on shifting with the change in times. What we love today may not be there in our life tomorrow, or even if it be there the intensity of emotions may change.

I was really worried as the due date for the birth of my next child was over, blaming myself for having harmed the baby by my frequent travels, I decided to consult a gynecologist. As we were living in a village, it meant traveling once again to the nearby town for such basic need. Times were sure trying those days! The visit confirmed that everything was okay and the very next day of my visit, your younger sister arrived.

Honestly speaking, I was not happy as like all Indian mothers I, too, had been waiting for a son. But a smile on her lips, when I looked at her, my first look, made me love her the most. Looking back at the incidents, I am really surprised at the first smile that she gave me as you had not given me that smile!

Your Nana brought you to me but you were much scared by the small one that lay beside me and you started crying and clutched your Nana in an embrace. I tried very hard to make you come to me but you would not budge from your position and not even look at me directly. You looked at me surreptitiously! I felt like having cheated you by denying you a childhood that now onwards you will be missing.

Another phase started in our life after this addition to the family. On one hand the family responsibilities had increased manifold and on the other hand my studies was proving to be too taxing for me. But this is life where you make a choice and have to abide by that, come what may. Once again, your nani came to help me with her assistance in looking after you. We started following the same routine where you would be sent to your nani’s home in the evening and would be back the next morning. I had the little one with me for the night. But what a contrast she was to you! She would literally howl if her needs were not taken care of in time. She would expect to be fed in time unlike you who was so complacent. I was irritated at times by the constant demands that she would put me to. You were happy now having made your peace with the new changes in the pattern of our life. You are, even today, ready to adapt to any new change. I think you learnt it quite early in your life.

And this is what you are displaying even today. Adapting to a new life without ever making a complaint.

Love

Mummy

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