The Wound is still fresh and bleeding even after a full year…

12 December, 2009

I had thought that a full year is a long time to forget some happenings in my life which were not ordinary and very unpleasant but today on the 12th day of December, 2009, I find it strange to experience that the excruciating pain that some wounds had given me a full one year back, is still fresh and bleeding. And I decided to openly write about all the hell that I was made to suffer and may grope to find the reasons and people who are the cause of my pain.

It was 12 December, 2008 when finally some members of our group decided to go to Delhi and apprise the power that be of the grave irregularities around us. We were invited officially to have a talk. But even after a year when I try to find out the outcome of the “talk” I find, except the still bleeding wound, there is nothing worthwhile that can be talked of. If you wonder why have I taken so long to break my silence, the answer is that somehow I was a fool to have believed in the basic goodness of all human beings. But now I know for certain that there are people who are capable of doing anything if it serves their selfish petty interests and regretfully many of them were around me “a-dime-a dozen”!

Perhaps this much is sufficient for 12 december, 2008 the day when I was packing my things for a journey. What happened next, I would write in the next post.

One thought on “The Wound is still fresh and bleeding even after a full year…

  1. Anonymous Wellwisher

    Ma’m, My best wishes for your struggle against injustice. The ever-smiling face of yours that I grew up with a decade back and the stifled angst of yours against the system that I find here reminded me of Dileep Chitre’s poem:
    ———————————————–
    चक्रव्यूह में घुसने से पहले
    मैं कौन था और कैसा था
    ये मुझे याद ही न रहेगा
    चक्रव्यूह में घुसने के बाद
    मेरे और चक्रव्यूह के बीच
    सिर्फ़ एक जान-लेवा निकटता थी
    इसका मुझे पता ही न चलेगा

    चक्रव्यूह से बाहर निकलने पर
    मैं मुक्त हो जाऊँ भले ही
    फिर भी
    चक्रव्यूह की रचना में फ़र्क़ ही न पड़ेगा

    मरूँ या मारूँ
    मारा जाऊँ या जान से मार दूँ
    इस का फ़ैसला कभी न हो पायेगा

    सोया हुआ आदमी जब नींद से उठ कर
    चलना शुरू करता है
    तब सपनों का संसार उसे दुबारा
    दिख ही न पायएगा

    उस रोशनी में जो निर्णय की रोशनी है
    सब कुछ समान होगा क्या?

    एक पलड़े में नपुंसकता
    एक पलड़े में पौरुष
    और ठीक तराज़ू के काँते पर
    अर्ध-सत्य
    ———————————————–

    So now, as the poem says, it doesn’t matter if the narrator kills or gets killed. Why hesitate in revealing it all – go ahead and should you not choke yourself at all.

    Best wishes,

    An anonymous well-wisher.

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