Letter to My Little One–26

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Women as Emotional Creatures…

November 23, 2006

Dear Little One,

In my last post I had written about how I have been led more by emotional responses than by rational ones. This has often made me question the veracity of my actions and when you yourself are questioning whether an action of yours as been good or not very good—it needs serious thought.I want to deal with the issue of women as emotional creatures and how do they use/misuse their emotions at workplaces. I think that my little one can handle such serious issues and can provide me with your point of view as well. Looking back at my career and the issues that I had to handle, I see with objectivity the fact that on many occasions I have openly displayed my emotions in workplaces and emotions that made me feel weak as a woman. But did I feel weak when I cried openly or did it make me feel the way I was? Now there is nothing like women being weak and men being strong, except say physically may be, but there is a natural disposition, gender based, that both carry. I must acknowledge that during conflicting situations, I act more driven by emotions and less by rational self. At those moments my rational self is hijacked by my emotional self and I do what my emotional reaction prompts me to do. Many a times I regret later on and think was it worth it, should I have done it? And the answer all the time is NO. This brings to my mind another episode where I acted like a fool. You remember it well when, bleeding profusely after being hit by an erring truck driver, I chased him instead of getting medical aid. If I feel that someone has tried to play smart, I feel like getting hold of him even at the cost of personal safety. But is it worth? No, not at all!It is sheer wastage of creative energy that comes naturally to us—women. I hope that you would be able to sieve between the substance and the useless and apply your creative energy judiciously in all that you take up. There are things that don’t warrant our attention at all but we just make them seem important giving our undivided attentions and well earned time. It is a futile exercise. Once you learn to discard all that is useless, you would find more creative energy to focus on positive life energy. Remember creation; and not destruction should be our guiding Mantra. But if someone takes your being indifferent as a sign of your being weak and frail, then only you have to act otherwise!There are some attributes that come naturally to us like compassion, pity, sympathy, empathy etc. the point is that you name a, so called, soft attribute and you’ll find that in us. Perhaps this is the “X” factor we have! But does it make us weak? I would say that it makes us see the issue from both the angles as we have acquired rationality as a part of growing up and the emotional part comes to us by birth. Don’t you find this as a deadly combo in a professional woman? So dear little one, looking back I find that though I had displayed emotional response many a time but along with had reasonable rationality than was called upon, so have no regrets. But yes, I never liked it a bit when I was treated as a mere woman and asserted myself as a person. I think you know amore about it and I need not explain. But as I keep on reiterating, times have changed now and so have some basic human values. I find a big change coming in women as well, especially their approach towards life! Perhaps it is the result of competing with men, at all levels, that is getting into their basic nature or perhaps they are shielding their true nature under a mask of professionalism as they don’t want to be vulnerable to pain on account of their very nature. Seems like a vicious circle, a Catch-22 situation.But I believe that whatever that is against the basics nature of an individual would never bring that person happiness so enjoy being what you are, emotional, sensitive or compassionate. Don’t change yourself.

Love

Ma

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