Bend Down But Don’t Break Up…
November 18, 2006
Dear Little One,
These days when you all are away from me and I am alone at home, I want earnestly to communicate my serious concerns to you, concerns that I find to be much importance in life. The post that I write to you today has an added significance as being a female you would have to make many an adjustments in your life, all in the name of conformity and adaptability. The question that you would face at those times would be, “up to what extent can I bend?” It is ironical yet true that the society talks of making compromises for smooth running of some institutions but the stark and cruel reality remains same for almost all societies that it is the female of the species who makes more of the compromises or may I say all of the compromises. During our generation it was an unspoken rule of the life that women would not show their intellect much in front of men. You had to cater to the male ego by pretending that they know the best. I don’t know what the present rule is but I want to make you aware of what happens when someone acts against one’s basic nature. I remember talking to my dentist in the most innocuous manner about my fear of the local anesthesia and its reaction but the “man” in him overruled the doctor in him and instead of putting my fears, howsoever illogical, to rest, he poked the anesthetic injection in my jaw saying, “No one till date has died of this injection in my clinic.” He was angry that a woman was trying to show off her knowledge though it was my genuine concern. You know it that how I behave when I have to take even a simple a Paracetamol and here I was to be injected with something that, if reacted, could result in instant death! Though the incidence is very small but why to take risk when it is your life that is at stake! Instead of treating me as a patient, he started seeing me as a woman! It really saddened me.At the same very time it humours me to see some women acting in such a childlike manner or lets say coquettish manner that the men around want to reach out to help them out. I am talking of the workplaces my dear. These women belong to a category where they don’t feel bad at all to cash upon being a woman, if it means less work and light job assignments for them. It is paradoxical yet true. This practice, if followed, at the workplace would generate a feeling of being treated unfairly among women who have been taught to work as good as or even better than their men counterparts. And how do men treat such women at work places? If these are the men, like my dentist, they would be happy giving them less assignments and work of a light nature as they feel protective towards such women—poor creatures! JBut on the other hand there may be some bosses who would expect equitable distribution of work among all. Now having the kind of men around us is not for us to change. But to change ourselves is well within our power and it is here that making adjustments plays a role. If one is expected to make adjustments at any level of professional or personal life, these should not be contrary to the basic nature of the individual. Once our values and beliefs are well set then making adjustments would rather break us.
Bend you must but not to break up. Have you seen a supple plant bending when the wind blows at a high speed or the poplar leaves, so light weight that slight movement of wind would make them flutter? Would you be like these that slight pressure makes you move along with the pressure belt? And another question; are you at an age where you are supple enough to move along with the movement of wind around you? My dear Little one, you have to be strong like a tree that has a strong base it cannot budge from but yes its branches are supple that may move along the moving wind. You have to be so deeply anchored in your convictions and values that slight outward pressure is unable to budge you but your branches should be supple enough to make change with the changing current of the outward pressures.At workplaces you would be meeting people of diverse nature and upbringing and to believe that others have the same thinking pattern as you have would be a wishful dream. It is you who will have to bring about changes in your self to suit the changing environment but while incorporating changes remember to “bend down but not to break up.” Remember it is your life that you are dealing with and it is important to accord it due respect, and the dignity that it deserves! And if you respect your life others too would respect it and treat it with love, affection, dignity and care.Love