Socialize as you are neither a beast nor a god…
November 16, 2006
Dear Little One,
I am so happy to note that you are paying attention towards socializing as I sincerely believed that you need to meet people and be in a position to see though the “masks” that most of the people wear at different times. It is to see a person in totality to make an opinion about him/her. I don’t say that this opinion would be the most correct and honest opinion about people as it is not only others that mask their real self but we as observers, too, love seeing selectively. We love to see what we want to see not what exactly lies behind appearances.
Dear Little one the only thing that disturbs me about it is that you put on a mask of aloofness on your chirpy being and this makes you cut off from socializing. Now who would come to talk to a girl whose very stiff expressions on her face say blaringly—“Danger 440 Volts”J! I often noticed your lips go into a stiff expression the moment we would start our walk towards the town! If it was to keep the people you didn’t like away at a distance its fine but did you ever realize that it would keep the well meaning, would be friends, too, at a safer distance!
One has to be careful, especially a girl, to make judicious selection of friends but to keep away from all is not healthy at all. I though of writing about it because I know your basic nature that is to be very friendly and forthcoming but stifling inside this natural curb is unhealthy for your personal growth. I know there are things that I, your mother, would not feel very comfortable talking to you about but this had been since long on the top of my mind that you need to socialize more than you do.
I really liked the manner in which you move about the place—liberally oiled and tightly tied hair, loose Khadi kurta, kohled eyes, and flat chappals—commuting by public transport. It is good beginning but it is not socializing. It is watching from close quarters the life of an average man and woman which a compassionate person like you would like to see. You must have seen that even those very people, for whom life, every day, is a new experience, socialize a lot. This is natural urge of a society.
I am happy that you enjoyed with letting down all pretensions of aloofness at the B’day bash of your colleague. I am much happy as when I think of how you celebrated your own B’day, just a few days back, I feel perturbed. Instead of as much as taking good wishes of your friends and colleagues on that big day of your life, you chose to stay alone at home and even wasting one of your well earned casual leave! Thank God that you had a dinner outside that day otherwise I would have rued about you the whole night. Come out of your shell, a self-imposed banning of socializing and you would find life bright and colouful.
It is all the more important that you socialize more as it helps grooming your personality as well. Socializing, a very basic requirement of human society is helpful in shaping your brain as well.
These days when I come back from the Institute at about 5:30 PM, from then on till the next morning when I am back in the college, I live alone, bereft of any human company! It is an isolation that is my choice and I look forward to it. I have politely refused many an invitations for evening get-togethers as I want to have some time to myself. You may say that it is a selfish need of my own. At that time writing alone is what makes my life. But I have lived my life and this pattern, though not very healthy, suits me fine. And then there are calls from my kids to wait for! But you are young and need to make friends and enjoy life as it is in a group that you learn many a new things.
It is true that many a times you might feel lonely even when in a crowd and would rather spend time alone that in a group. There is no harm in harbouring such a desire once in a while but to make it a frequent occurrence would make me alarmed. I would be happy if you socialize more, make more friends and live your life the way it should be.
So my dear little one, work hard and enjoy life as well!