Be Selfish when it’s your Personal health at stake…
November 13, 2006
Dear Little One,
I hope that the title of the post doesn’t put you off as have I taught you not to be selfish all the life? Well I don’t remember teaching you anything a all but all these have come to you watching us around—the best way to imbibe family culture.
I really am alarmed that you may not have learnt to put backstage your own concerns or priorities in th name of making way for others’ priorities, the way I have been. It is good to be compassionate but not at th cost of your own passionate self. You have to be a little selfish when it come to your own well being. When it is your health or life at stake, be a little selfish giving it top priority. There is nothing like “doing it later” when I would have time. How can you be of help to others if you are not looking well at your own self?
I can say all this today as I have seen that no one else will ever bother for you if you don’t love yourself enough. Your Papa is a gem of a person as he knows how careless I am when it comes to personal health and takes care of me but is it not bad on my part to be so careless about my health, in the first place? Both of us are getting old and we both need to provide support to each other but not to become a burden upon each other.
I felt the need to write all this as I am seriously concerned that you may not turn my way when it comes to misuse your body. Be careful and value as well as pamper good physical self. This is, no doubt, the first and the foremost step towards personal growth. Is it not our physical entity that makes the first impression on others? This body embodies the greater soul inside it so is it not our duty to keep it healthy and bubbling with best health? I know how particular you are with keeping it fit but as a mother I feel concerned that you may not have relegated this as a place backstage.
When you called me a while ago to, you didn’t seem to be very well. I was worried. “A little body aches”, you said. But I knew instinctively that you really are not well. “A warm glass of milk and a Paracetamol, and everything will be fine”, you soothed my nerves. Now who was soothing whom and it was you that really needed the soothing. That’s the point. Dear Little one you had been like that all your life. But dear don’t be so magnanimous when it comes to keeping your genuine needs backstage. And don’t be cruel to your own self. Do you remember that once you had pain in one of your arms, you told me about it in the evening. And next morning you were busy dusting and sweeping the home. I had literally forgotten all about your pain in the arm and it was only when you made a slight whimpering sound that I realized that you had pain in your arm! I curse myself for being so apathetic but ultimately passed the buck to you as you had not brought the same to my notice early in the morning. You could have put hot bandage on your arm to draw attention towards it, or you could have cried and “Ah-Ahed” about the pain—it would have worked. But since you did nothing of the sort—I, your own mother, very conveniently forgot about it. If this is what a Ma can forget about why to blame someone else for being apathetic towards your pain!
I was alarmed to find that you had not learnt nay lesson out of this episode and would suffer alone rather than make anyone else a party to it. This trait, too, has come to you from me. Sometimes I really feel guilty for not tutoring both of you, my daughters, in coquettish put-ons. Now if the world deserves to have coquettes and the like who can help it.
Don’t be harsh to you own self. I would not appreciate it a bit if you behave like a very delicate touch-me-not kind of a girl but at the same time I would not want you to do all foolhardy things only because you have to prove your sturdiness. No need to prove anything. Just be what you are. When you are in pain, say it. When you are happy show it. But what I find is that though you share all your happiness with others but when it come to sharing your pain, you prefer doing it alone.
How would I be able to sleep peacefully tonight when I know my little one is not well and she needs me. I am thinking of the last ride together to Chandigarh when you slept all the way with your head in my lap. I just can feel it today that you need me, at this point of time, with the same intensity as you wanted me that day. But could I be near you? No. But feel me to be near you and you will find me always with you especially when you’ll need me, the way you need me today.
Now don’t start with, “how do you know all this?” I know all this as I am your mother and till day you have me as being the closest to your heart than anyone else!!
Get well soon.