Another day in our life and we have labeled it as Women’s Day!
Early in the morning, when I realized that it was 8th of March, I cried out, "but it is our day—Women’s Day". And shot back my second daughter who was reading Jane Eyre in her room, “and what is so special about this day?”
Yes, what is so special about this day? A few speeches by politicians and the so called social workers who make part of the so called socially correct-self appointed-moral policing force, who would deliver some speeches and thereby claim to bring about a qualitative change in the life of some unprivileged women and lead them to up liftment! “From darkness to Light” kind of therapy would be given in capsule form to daughters of lesser mortals.
This brought me to ponder over our life as a women and to see where we stood and what kind of improvement, if any, was needed in our life?
Incidentally, today i.e. on Women’s Day, we were three women at home. Me–the mother and two daughters, one recently married and another on way to make up her mind about a serious relationship. So, I tried analyzing the three different, yet in a significant manner, related women to find out the truth about our existence. And the discussion that followed was brilliant by any standards as all three had their own points of view to offer and stand by.
The eldest among the three is the writer of this post i.e. me. 49 years of age, married for 27 long years, “happily” is the adjective that I would love to add to my state of being married. And I have been assigned the task of putting the analysis to a consensus and put it to others who would love to get a message out of it.
In spite of occasional and quite serious difference of opinion, my husband and I have tried to be as compatible to each other as is within our power. Influencing each other as well as giving space to each other. No one, I stress, no one of us knew anything about our rights and duties, except what the Pandit Ji recited, when we got married but on the long way to this stage we learnt all and have not done bad either. I never knew about Women’s Day nor did my mother who had such a blissful married life with my father though he was 10 years elder to her. I had my own views about so many issues that I would discuss openly but never knew that a member of moral policing force would label them as my self-assertion rights as a woman and an individual. Life really had its own charm without labels.
Compatibility—a much talked about word these days, was not even in my passive vocabulary as also were not tension, depression etc. So was just ignorant about the ingredients that make a successful marriage. So, the analysis is that life runs smoothly without any labels attached to it as when we attach labels, we become so centered towards the efficacy of these labels that instead of paying attention toward the substance, we are more concerned about labels.
I really wonder that when everything was running so smoothly why we Indians had to imbibe and show off certain features of the Western society to prove to the world about our being cultured people? If we don’t have a Women’s Day celebration, would it in some manner make us berate our women? Is it just a lip service to a cause and that too to garner publicity that we deliver speeches and promise to help the underprivileged? I feel extremely sorry to find that everything Western, with a tag attached to it, is the most sought after commodity in our country. A country like India, where women have always had a place of honour in society and where “Shakti” the female power is much revered, has become victim of a Western Trend of celebrating a trend that is so foreign to our roots.
When I hear the present day girls talk of parity with the other sex, equality, personal identity etc., I wonder about the lack of such slogans in the earlier times. But our life has been, by no means, less eventful or participative. Life was much more smooth when women enjoyed all these rights and never made an issue out of it. Our epics speak volumes about the kind of freedom and influence women enjoyed not only in their own life but in life of persons around them, yet no hue and cry was made out f it. Certain things retain their charm so long as they are the accepted norms of the society and much is not debated about them.
Perhaps it is because of my personal perspective that I remain content to have my life as it has been for a considerable period of time. My feminist friends may decry me as anti-feminist or might berate me for being self-centered, caring only for my own life and of people close to me. I maybe accused of turning a blind eye to other women around me. But I believe that charity begins at home and we must put our life in order before bringing out a change in the life of others. I may be wrong by others' standards but right and wrong are perspectives that carry different meanings to different persons. What may be right for me may be wrong for the other.
I believe in Women’s power that is supportive to the male power and vice versa as well and not something that in the name of creating balance of power, makes the concept of power bereft of its very essence!