Give to the World the Worst you Have and the Worst will Come Back to You

Ironic, you will say it is. Why would anyone give the worst to the world ? You might have typed it wrongly; it has to be the Best. No, I have been right. Is it not the Worst that we give to the world and still have the audacity to proclaim in the loudest possible voice to have given the best? Can there be any one in the world, except may be god or a beast, who would give the best to the world. Again mere words and nothing else. If you have given the worst to the world, are you ready to take the worst as well. I may not be exaggerating as I don’t claim to be a specially empowered person to claim such a thing but the reality is that whenever I breathe, somehow comes from my very being a very negative feeling for you and the ones who have played a game. If it was no game and everything was the result of miscommunication and misjudgment, no harm will come even near you but if it was predesigned and premeditated, nothing can save you from facing very unhappy days ahead. It is a curse of a mother and you will have to pay for it. Nothing can save you. Not even God. You just pray to God for being merciful to you. It is not my curses that will take the toll but all the worst that you have done will come back to you and you will have no one to save you. I pray to God to be an impartial judge and punish the guilty. I am waiting for the divine justice. Every minute of the day, whether I wish it or not, my very being curses you. I am really afraid what all this negative energy releasing from my very being and aimed at destroying you, would do to you. Take cover as who knows what may befall you. You deserve it and also all those persons who have played a role in it. If you have given the worst to others how can you expect for the best? Be ready for the Worst! I had thought to have got over the feeling of revulsion that I felt for you but neither I am a god nor a saint so how can I be above all things banal and mundane. The green blink to your name in my quick contacts brought to surface all that I had thought of freezing inside. I thought why should I burden myself with freezing this feeling of animosity inside me when the guilty don’t even have a prick or conscience? Hence forward I would not stop myself from incurring any harm on account of my revelations. I would rather do anything within my power to bring it to the notice of more and more persons, gullible ones, whom you might deceive in the name of “giving them the Best”. You don’t deserve any sympathy and neither would you get it from me. Day in and day out, I have to watch a young life ebb away and the more I watch the more firm becomes my conviction, to bring you to books. And dread the day when this mother really wakes up to guard with her motherly instincts, her child the way your mother did. And God would also not be able to save you from the wrath of a mother.

Attaining Release from a Black Hole

Yesterday we had a power failure and as it was sultry hot inside the room, we went to the roof and lay there. What do you see when you lie facing upwards? The sky with unaccountable mysteries held in its womb. Watching the sky at night when there is no electric illumination to distract the view is something rare these days. Contemplating about the numerous unsolved mysteries,  one of which is the Black Holes, once again led my thoughts to the person who talked so much of the black holes. And I recalled how you had always been thinking in opposite direction till someone made you think in the right direction. I just thought how you need to be directed to think in right direction, why you can’t see things as they are but like to see them as you want to see them. But why should a person spend or rather waste his/her energy in making you realize the truth? Is it worth the effort? What I was doing was the same thing. I was suddenly drained of energy thinking about what you had done to our life. I was doing more harm to myself and people close to me. I had a sudden realization lying under the clear sky that it was not worth the effort. I wanted to hurt you as I was hurt and people I love were hurt as well. This feeling of hurt gave way to anger and now I was changing it to despise by finding faults with you. But one great truth that I was able to see was that I was hurting myself and my own in the process. It was not easy for me even to try to hurt you.

 

Suddenly, at that time I found my peace. I made peace with my own self. I decided not to try to hurt you any further as what you did might have some reason behind it. I was angry with me for not being able to judge a person and be duped but I found that there was nothing wrong with my judgment and you were what I had perceived you to be. Why should I question my judgment and your integrity? I decided to set my self free from the feelings that I had developed about you and in the process release you from my thoughts as well. I had found that death of this relationship was an outcome of some nefarious design but the truth that it was so weak as not to withstand the impact of outside agencies, makes me question—whether it was worth carrying forward when it could not withstand the first very onslaught. I am pretty sure that had nothing happened at this stage, renewed attempts to cut it short would have taken place and this relationship would have died even at a later stage of its development. It was beyond our power to save it. One cannot fight with people of one’s own. As I am finding it too taxing to hurt you as every hurt that I aim at you comes back to me with more vengeance.

 

So when it was not in our hands to have saved the relationship, why to find a scapegoat and find reasons, lame one for its death. Why not to savior the goodness and the freshness of its essence and carry a pleasant memories of the same? Though it is not an easy job but at least I can try instead of finding ways and means to hurt you and getting hurt in the process.